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 Joke And Riddle & Puzzle SMS

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Location : PHILIPPINES
Posts : 23
Join date : 2010-03-20

PostSubject: Joke And Riddle & Puzzle SMS   Tue Mar 30, 2010 6:36 am

pirates_sun » 07 Nov 2008 21:20

SMOKE everyday!
SMOKE means
S=send
M=me
O=one
K=kool SMS
E=everyday
So plz feel free to Smoke.request u 2 b a Chain Smoker.gud day..........

to see light look at the sun, to see love look at the moon, to see hope look at the future, to see beauty look at the nature, but to see all of this look at the mirore!!

Iturn around once. What is out will not get in. I turn around again. What is in will not get out. What am I?

Until I am measured, I am not known. Yet how you miss me, When I have flown. What am I?

What word doesn't belong in this group? That, hat, what, mat, cat, sat, pat, or chat?

A boy was at a carnival and went to a booth where a man said to the boy, "If I write your exact weight on this piece of paper then you have to give me $50, but if I cannot, I will pay you $50." The boy looked around and saw no scale so he agrees, thinking no matter what the carny writes he'll just say he weighs more or less. In the end the boy ended up paying the man $50. How did the man win the bet?

Many things can create one, it can be of any shape or size, it is created for various reasons, and it can shrink or grow with time. What is it?

I was carried into a dark room, and set on fire. I wept, and then my head was cut off. What am I?

Three lives have I.
Gentle enough to soothe the skin,
Light enough to caress the sky,
Hard enough to crack rocks

You are in a room that is completly bricked in on all four sides, including the cieling and floor. You have nothing but a mirror and a wooden table in the room with you. How do you get out?

You are right next to a river and have a 5 gallon container and a 3 gallon container. You need to measure out 4 gallons of water. How do you do it?

What does man love more than life, Fear more than death or mortal strife, What the poor have, the rich require, And what contented men desire, What misers spend, and spendthrifts save, And all men carry to the grave?

can spell
yet i have no mouth
i can speak to animals
but cant speak to humans
i am feirce but small
What am I ?

With thieves I consort, With the vilest, in short, I'm quite at ease in depravity; Yet all divines use me, And savants can't lose me, For I am the center of gravity

You use a knife to slice my head and weep beside me when I am dead. What am I

In a contest, four fruits (an apple, a banana, an orange, and a pear) have been placed in four closed boxes (one fruit per box). People may guess which fruit is in which box. 123 people participate in the contest. When the boxes are opened, it turns out that 43 people have guessed none of the fruits correctly, 39 people have guessed one fruit correctly, and 31 people have guessed two fruits correctly. The Question: How many people have guessed three fruits correctly, and how many people have guessed four fruits correctly?

Solve this Paheli.
The fishermen Love me,
Doctors hate me,
But kids to eat me,
I'm 13 letters word
Who I am?
Hints:
-H-T---I--ME-
U R Intelligent so tell about this

Try to SOLVE
What it means:

R+CAT+SHOE-
RAT+SUN-CHOSE
+MOON+I-NOON+
GOAL+T-GOAT-U+E?



I am a word of 5 letters!
People eat me!
If u remove my 1st letter I will b a form
of energy!
If u remove my 1st 2 letters I will be needed 4 liiving.
If u remove my 1st 3 letters I will be near U.
If u remove my 1st 4 letters I will be a drink 4 u.
.
.
.
Who am I?

A man goes to the eye doctor. The receptionist asks him why he is there. The man complains, "I keep seeing spots in front of my eyes."
The receptionist asks, "Have you ever seen a doctor?" and the man replies, "No, just spots."

Teacher: What are some products of the West Indies?
Student: I don't know.
Teacher: Of course, you do. Where do you get sugar from?
Student: We borrow it from our neighbor.

A family of mice were surprised by a big cat. Father Mouse jumped and said, "Bow-wow!" The cat ran away. "What was that, Father?" asked Baby Mouse. "Well, son, that's why it's important to learn a second language."

Little Johnny: Teacher, can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: Little Johnny, MAY I go to the bathroom?
Little Johnny: But I asked first!

When I want to teach the colors, I just ask my students to pretend the phone is ringing and they will answer:
Phone rings: "Green, green!"
They answer: "Yellow?"
They ask: "White?"
They hang up: "Pink!"
While teaching this use your hands pretending you are holding the phone.

What is the similarity between CIRCUS and a BEAUTIFUL GIRL'S HEART? Both have space for 1 more clown...

Teacher: What r the people of Turkey called? Student: I don't know. Teacher: They r called Turks, now What r the people of Germany called? Student: They r called Germs.

Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now..... sorry I have to leave, I can't find a brain.

Phonebook Dilemma Why r there no phone books in China? Coz there r so many Wing's and Wong's, they r afraid u will Wing the Wong number.

Birdy birdy in the sky, left a poopie in my eye. Me don't care, me don't cry, me just happy that a cow can't fly!

I read on the newspaper that sending text messages causes a radiation that is cancerous. That's why I have decided to stop - to stop reading newspapers.

Someday you may lose your hair, you may lose your teeth, your money and even lose your mind. But one thing you will never lose - your good looks, coz you can never lose what you don't have!

You think I'm nice, I think you're nice. You think I'm kind, I think you're kind. You think I can be trusted, I think you can. You think I'm cute, and I think you're right.

A little kid asks his Dad, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
"No idea," replied the Father, "I'm still paying for it..."

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.

Customer in a restaurant: I would like to have a plate of rice and a piece of fried chicken and a cup of coffee
Waitress : Is it enough Sir?
Customer : What? Do you think I can't buy more?

In a restaurant:
Customer: Waiter, waiter! There is a frog in my soup!!!
Waiter: Sorry, sir. The fly is on vacation.

A man receives a phone call from his doctor.
The doctor says, "I have some good news and some bad news."
The man says, "OK, give me the good news first."
The doctor says, "The good news is, you have 24 hours to live."
The man replies, "Oh no! If that's the good news, then what's the bad news?"
The doctor says, "The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday."

Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO?
A: There have been sightings of UFOs.

Son: Dad, what is an idiot?
Dad: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a strange and long way that another person who is listening to him can't understand him. Do you understand me?
Son: No.

Headmaster: I've had complaints about you, Johnny, from all your teachers. What have you been doing?
Johnny: Nothing, sir.
Headmaster: Exactly.

Mother: "Did you enjoy your first day at school?"
Girl: "First day? Do you mean I have to go back tomorrow?

Patient: Doctor! You've got to help me! Nobody ever listens to me. No one ever pays any attention to what I have to say.
Doctor: Next please!

Patient: Doctor, I have a pain in my eye whenever I drink tea.
Doctor: Take the spoon out of the mug before you drink.

The doctor to the patient: 'You are very sick'
The patient to the doctor: 'Can I get a second opinion?'
The doctor again: 'Yes, you are very ugly too...'
I use this joke for retelling in reported speech.

Did you hear about the skeleton who walked into a cafe?
He ordered a cup of coffee and a mop.

One teacher said this to his students before the final test.
"A" is for God.
"B" is for me and my wife.
"C" is for the perfect student.
"D & F" are for all other students.

"Spell SPOT three times."
"S P O T , S P O T , S P O T"
"What do you do when you come to a green light?"
(answer is invariably-) "Stop!"
"What, at a GREEN light?"

Father: What did you do today to help your mother?
Son: I dried the dishes
Daughter: And I helped pick up the pieces.

"Excuse me. Do you know the way to the zoo?"
"No, I'm sorry I don't."
"Well, it's two blocks this way, then one block to the left."

Customer: Excuse me, but I saw your thumb in my soup when you were carrying it.
Waitress: Oh, that's okay. The soup isn't hot.

Teacher: Why are you late?
Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill.
Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it?
Student: No. I was standing on it.
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